Scary Close - A Book Review

Anyone who is familiar with Donald Miller's spiritual memoirs can attest to Miller's candid self-deprecation.  There is something satisfyingly humble about his writing prose.  In "Scary Close," Miller learns how to develop meaningful relationships by shredding his controlled and calculated image.  In a digital age when we are often more concerned about our self-presentation than bonafide relationships, I decided that this book would be particularly fitting for this blog.

Twelve years after championing the spiritual trailblazer and best-seller, "Blue Like Jazz," Miller has continued to achieve success with a number of follow-up memoirs and his own 'Storybrand' organization that helps businesses rebrand and reconstruct their marketing tactics.

As a self-professed introvert, Miller felt comfortable socializing with civilization in small increments at a time, thus, allowing him to showcase his greatest traits to the public.  He would then retreat for long periods of time to write.  However, after connecting with dozens of mentor figures in his life (whether from therapy retreats or from other sage public figures), Miller would eventually learn on his own that his withdrawn nature (also) enabled him to hide from shame and criticism.  Naturally, in his circumstances, Miller felt exhausted socializing because he was primarily performing for the public, not maintaining meaningful and honest relationships.

Throughout his book, Miller learns how to retain authenticity without defining himself (solely) through his job title and plethora of successes.  As he embarks on the next chapter of his life (marriage), Miller is no longer able to eternally hide from human contact whenever it suits his desires.  His wife, Betsy (along with dozens of Miller's 'Yoda' confidants) have challenged him to seek healthy intimacy within his business practices, relationships and faith.

"One of the many good things God gave me in Betsy was the motivation to change.  I'd spent years isolated and alone, working up words to tell people who I was - or more accurately, who I wanted to be.  But in many ways that was a dark and lonely lie.  I'm not saying it didn't have its perks, because people clapping for you will always be a nice thing.  But it's better when you have somebody to go home to and talk about it with, somebody who is more in love with you than impressed by you." - Scary Close, Donald Miller

"Scary Close" ideally captures what healthy relationships (either romantic or platonic) should embody; not from the perspective of a trained therapist, but from a simple man, plainly trying to connect with others by laying his faults on print for all to see.