Female Comedians “Getting Real” in Their Memoirs

After reading something heavy, I desperately need a hearty guffaw.  Occasionally, I love checking out the humor section at the local bookstore.  I generally don’t pay attention to the gender of any given novel, but the more I have read books by female comedians in recent years, I have realized that an unspoken sub-genre exists: the female comedian memoir.

Unlike their male counterparts, female comedians are “getting real” and sharing their life struggles and advice all the while using a witty voice.   As comical as these writers are, they bear a more sincere presence in their publication.  (Take for example Tina Fey's passion towards raising children in Bossy Pants.)  

Sometimes they will offer unsolicited advice to their female readers.  Regardless of whether or not I would ever consider taking their advice, I do enjoy their witty and self-deprecating take on childhood, rise to success/stardom, and how they choose to balance it all.  (It makes them appear somewhat relatable.) 

Quite a few male comedians, on the other hand, generally hide behind a satirical persona a la Stephen Colbert. If a male author is playing himself, he will most likely use a sarcastic or droll tone.  Either way, the content of most male comedian authors focuses more on current news than on the personal details of their lives.  I absolutely adore both approaches and writing styles, therefore, I do not have a personal preference. 

I do, however, hold a bias when it comes to celebrity memoirs.  I do prefer female comedian memoirs to female celebrity memoirs in which these celebrities hold very little writing credit or talent.  Most successful television female comedians hold writing experience on TV or during their sketch comedy salad days.  I appreciate nothing more than a memoir written by someone who is witty, intelligent and has a way with words. 

Otherwise, we have to read poetry by celebrities like Suzanne Somers:

Organic girl dropped last night
For nothing in particular

Except to tell me again how beautiful and serene she feels

On uncooked vegetables and wheat germ fortified by bean sprouts

Mixed with yeast and egg whites on really big days
She not only meditates regularly, but looks at me like I should

And lectures me about meat and ice cream

And other aggressive foods I shouldn’t eat.

            Touch Me: The Poems of Suzanne Somers

The Best Movies on Netflix Instant You Aren’t Watching

Are you in between TV shows on Netflix?  Tired of Netflix Instant recommending campy straight-to-DVD sequels?  Does it take you 30 minutes to select a movie?  Sometimes it is difficult to stumble upon a film on Netflix that possesses watchable merit.  Don’t fret, for I have selected a slew of worthy picks you may have overlooked.   All of these film selections are tomato-certified on Rotten Tomatoes, therefore, you know that these options are exceptional....or at least better than Sharknado. What are some of your favorite Netflix gems?

Classics

- The Conversation

- Metropolis

- 12 Angry Men

Foreign

- Cinema Paradiso

- The Triplets of Belleville

- The Intouchables

Documentaries

- The Act of Killing

-Who is Harry Nilsson

- Hoop Dreams

Independent 

- Nebraska

- Bernie

- Happy-Go-Lucky

Dramas

- The Fisher King

- Glengary Glen Ross

- City of God

Comedies

- New in Town (John Mulaney)

- In the Loop

- The Purple Rose of Cairo

Romantic

- Submarine

- Beautiful Girls

- Much Ado About Nothing (Joss Whedon)

Crime/Thrillers

- In Bruges

- Jackie Brown

- Usual Suspects

30 Signs You Are Reaching 30

In nearly eight months, I will be turning thirty years old.  I don’t expect to go through a life-altering metamorphosis.  Although, I will confess that I find it rather comforting when I Google search: “30 signs you are turning 30.”  I appreciate knowing that there are other twenty-nine year olds who can no longer pull all-nighters.  With that said, here is my "thirty-something" listicle.  Although they mostly pertain to my life, I hope my list can reaffirm that you too, are not alone in this strange quest for adulthood.    

1. At first, you are flattered when a waiter cards you and claims you look sixteen years old....until you recall how sixteen-year olds present themselves. 
2. You look more well rested because you get at least seven hours of sleep each night....unless you have kids.  
3. You have accepted the fact that you will never know everything; therefore, you are not too proud to ask questions.
4. You have invested in comfortable quality flats with a good sole.  (Begone flats from Payless.)
5. Your metabolism has officially slowed down.  Now you have to watch what you eat like "normal people."  Seriously normal people, how do you do it?
6. You wouldn't be caught dead wearing 70% of what H&M has to offer.
   
7. You have strong opinions, but you are still respectful of others when their convictions differ from your own.
8. Mid to late 90s Radiohead has held up quite well.  (You will still feel this way as you enter your 40s and 50s.)
9. Budweiser or sugary cocktails have now been replaced with craft beer or wine.                          
10. Vacation hours are reserved for destination weddings.
11. You have trustworthy friends that are able to provide you with honest advice.
12. You are most-likely either in a satisfying relationship, happily single, or single and searching for someone who is actually worth your time.
13. Concerts without seating are no longer permissible to you.

     14.  You have the courage to try something new.  (Food, career/life paths, travel destinations, art projects, etc.)

     15.  You can recall a time ten years ago, when hipsters actually roamed this Earth.

     16.  You start to exercise because you want to expand your life expiration date.  (Although losing weight couldn't hurt either.)

     17.  Even though you have been using Itunes for ten years, you still occasionally listen to to CDs and vinyl records because you know the sound quality can't be beat.

     18.  You voluntarily watch the news.  (Although you would prefer to dodge "news" commentators and their assessments.)

     19.  You can no longer relate to assumptions made about millennials. (Especially since most of these assumptions are more in line with Generation Z.)  

     20.  For example, you love reading the newspaper, because the news app just isn't enough.

     21.  In fact, reading the newspaper is one of your favorite Sunday pastimes.

      

        22.  You spend more money on home decor than on clothes.

        23.  You may belong to the "selfie" generation, but you acknowledge that the world does not revolve around you.

        24.  You have decided to read great literature on your own time; not because it was assigned in class.

        25.  You read novels that are intended for adults.

        26.  You are working towards a fulfilling career, (or you already have one) yet, you still realize  that your job won't stand beside you while you you are lying on your death bed.

        27.  You cook more than you ever have before, and your wallet thanks you for it.

        28.  You know whether or not you believe in God.  In fact, you also know why you believe what you believe.  If you haven't considered your existence or purpose in life within the first thirty years of your life, what have you been doing?

          29.  You may not always have everything together, but that's ok.  You have been humbled and you have learned how to persevere.  As a result, you have learned how to sympathize with others.

          30.  You google "30 signs you are almost 30."

Starbucks, the Endangered Third Place

A third place is defined as a building or space that produces community.  Unlike the first place (home) or second place (workspace), the third place has become harder to define or control in this virtual society.   Traditionally, it was common for the local bar or coffee shop to serve such a purpose.  Throughout the past three decades, Starbucks has held the responsibility of serving as a worldwide “third place.”  Will Starbucks continue to create a mass-produced authentic image or eventually become an extinct corporate third place? 

Although I will always prefer to support local independent coffee shops, sometimes Starbucks can be wildly convenient.  Because Starbucks occupies 11,100 stores nationwide, I know I will always remain walking distance from a local chain.  In addition, I always seem to retain a Starbucks gift card in my wallet from each year’s Christmas gathering.

Throughout my adolescence into adulthood, I have overheard life-changing conversations at Starbucks from strangers sitting adjacent to me.  I have witnessed first dates, bible studies, job interviews and work-related meetings.  (Apparently, Starbucks functions as a second place as well.)  I’m sure you can recall a milestone you have celebrated at Starbucks yourself. 

Even when I choose not to support Starbucks, I cannot deny the corporation’s influence.  In the last decade or so, several restaurants have undergone renovations to encourage intimacy and warmth a la Starbucks.  Even the fast food giant McDonalds have revamped their entire in-store look and feel to attract Starbucks customers or inspiring urban dwellers.  Not only has Starbucks changed the game amongst other eateries, mega churches have redesigned their structures by providing coffee shops of their own. 

Although I cannot ignore Starbucks' impact on society, I feel as though the cozy consumer experience has lessened throughout the years.  Anytime I visit a Starbucks nowadays, there are significantly less seats and tables available to accommodate the herd of consumers.  (I have a hunch that this may be intentional.)  It makes me feel as though I am not valued as a coffee enthusiast but simply as a customer that needs to be ushered out the door to make room for the next sizable herd.  The Starbucks delivery service set for next year may surely amplify the (already) congenial but distant customer service.  

The Starbucks’ delivery service won’t launch until 2015, therefore, it is difficult to predict how this business plan may affect the corporation’s third place appeal.  I also cannot yet vet the quality of the product after its timely trek to your office.  

The public has spoken and they want instant gratification…and convenience.  A personal relationship and rapport with your favorite barista is not the priority it once was.  Instead, we want a personal relationship with our Starbucks apps.

Starbucks had already stirred a third place controversy when the business opened its first drive thru.  Since then, Starbucks has lost its value in the eyes of thousands of faithful customers.  (Not that this has ever hurt Starbucks’ business.)  Let’s be honest with ourselves and realize that Starbucks has always been a fast food corporation essentially.  

I don't know what the future holds for Starbucks but I am certain they will survive by expanding its brand, expansive menu and its savvy (but often times impersonal) business tactics.  However, for those of us that desire a genuine sense of community, it is up to city planners, aspiring business owners and artists to develop a local third place in which their city can boastfully call their own.

How to Win This Woman’s Vote and Heart

Regardless of where one stands on the topic of American corporation’s role in distributing health care birth control, we can agree that it is a crucial issue….however as a woman, I don’t want to be defined by it either.   Though I can’t speak on behalf of every woman, many of us care about more than contraception accessibility.   Among all of the varied issues in which we share with men’s passions, we also care quite a bit about the economy ourselves.

Before we decide to debate as a nation in regard to birth control distribution, perhaps we should make sure there are actually more jobs that offer health care in the first place.  For many millennials, scoring a job with health benefits has become the ultimate American Dream. 

Before we complain about the (lack of) accessibility of birth control, shouldn’t we tirelessly fight for equal pay?  It is ridiculous that this is still an issue in 2014.   I feel wary when I hear politicians make promises to assure equal pay.  At the end of the day, it is evident that this is surely a scheme to win women’s votes. 

I pray that politicians don’t view us as second-class voters. We prove to vote more often than our male counterparts.  In the 2012 presidential election, female citizens contributed to 63.7% of the voter turnout. 

We are your daughters, sisters, mothers, wives, co-workers, and in many cases even your bosses.   Even though there is a small percentage of women employed in upper management, women make up the majority in middle management.  In addition, more women now have advanced degrees than men.  Clearly “women’s issues” are also men’s issues too. 

Dear politicians, in order to win this wary voter’s heart, you are going to have to do more than presenting your strategic speeches directed towards women.  We prove to stand tall as a complex, passionate, diverse and ambitious crowd.  Don’t define us (solely) by fertility or fertility prevention, but consider us in nearly any and every political issue and you might just win our vote.