My Top 8 Predictions for 2017

Thank goodness I can't read the future because deep down, I'm convinced it might look a lot like the movie "Idiocracy."  Still, I believe you gotta laugh to keep from crying.  Though I am certain that 2017 will be anything but predicable, I had to humor myself.   With that said, I present to you, my very own 2017 crystal ball devoid of any divine or scientific nature.  

1.  Donald Trump will make a mix tape for Vladmir Putlin.  Playlist will include the following songs:

                            "Secret Lovers" - Atlantic Starr
                            "Careless Whisper" - George Michael
                            "Private Eyes" - Hall and Oates
                            "Live to Tell" - Madonna
                 

2.  Just like any year, dozens of beloved celebrities will die, however, Betty White will outlive them all!

3.  Donald Trump will live tweet popular television shows, most note-worthy: The Apprentice.  

4.  Jar Jar Binks' cremation urn will be displayed in the new Star Wars museum.  

5.  Parental drones will be sold to helicopter parents who want to check up on their rebellious teenagers.

6.  Fake news comes full circle and becomes real news.  Readers stop believing it.

7.  Due to low ratings, season 2 of Stranger Things will prompt the inclusion of new character "12."

8.  "Freedom of speech" will be reduced to the following safe topics: the weather, sports, cute puppies and kittens, Chris Pratt, and how everyone loves Nutella spread.


What are your 2017 predictions?


See also:

Top 8 Predictions for 2016

Top 8 Predictions for 2015

The Funniest or Most Accurate Presidential Debate Tweets

Photo Source: www.kktv.com

Television networks have anticipated viewership for the first of three 2016 presidential debates to skyrocket to 100 million; which is comparable to Super Bowl audiences.  Although I don't have the Nielsen results from tonight's debate, I can definitely attest that the presidential discourse functioned like a hair-raising football game.  The contentious tension between both opponents proved that neither was afraid to play dirty.  Fans of the political sport took to Twitter to provide a vivid play by play of the (death) match.  I have curated a few of the funniest or most accurate tweets for comic relief. 

See also:  The Best Irreverent Trump Tweets

Top 8 Predictions for 2016

By 2015, I thought I had seen it all; until Donald Trump decided to run for president.  What is more hair-raising is the fact that he is (still) polling favorably amongst voters.  If 2015 proved that anything is possible, than surely 2016 will prove that many of my predictions are not too out of the ordinary.   Take a peek: 

1.  Now that the Clintons and Trumps are rivals and no longer friends, they will have to pick and choose which friends they can keep and which golf memberships to sustain.


2.  Inspired by the dated Twilight craze, Muslims will soon create 'Team Sunni' and 'Team Shia' shirts in order for others to adequately know where they stand.


3.  The movie streaming giant, Netflix, will generate its own dating site.  Algorithms will pair you up with someone based on your viewing habits.  Bet you can't wait to meet your 'Twin Peaks' soul mate.


4.  Millennial men sporting the 'man bun' in 2015 will endure premature balding due to 'tight burns.'


5.  Adult coloring books will be released featuring all of your favorite congressmen.


6.  Martial artist and now America's sweetheart, Ronda Rousey, will star in a new romantic comedy based on a Nicholas Sparks book that hasn't already been adapted into a movie.


7.  The "Bachelor," Ben Higgins will choose one of two twin contestants as his wife making family get-togethers extremely awkward.


8.  Saturday Night Live will actually be funny again.  (Naw, naw...who are we kidding?)


What are some of your 2016 predictions?

See also: Top 8 Predictions for 2015

The Best Irreverent Donald Trump Tweets

Although Donald Trump's official tweets are ignorantly hilarious, it is (almost) as fun watching other Twitter users roast Trump and his infamous comb over.  I have assembled a number of irreverent Trump tweets for your viewing pleasure.  Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Science Blogs